The Search For Love

Open the search engine and type it in

Surf through every link

Skim through every textbook

Research every archive

Browse in every library

Open every treasure chest

Inspect every attic

Break beyond the atmosphere

Gaze at every star

Exam the Milky way

Scrutinize every galaxy

The Sun mourns its absence

The moon wails its truancy

Where is love?


Dive into the deepest sea

Hunt the darkest jungle

Discover the treacherous caves

Climb the highest mountains

Descend the lowest mountains

Mine the stubborn ground

Until it is successfully found

Pursue every hurricane

Rummage the inside of every volcano

Interrogate every earthquake

Question the tsunami

Investigate every avalanche

Study the drought

Where can love be found?


Can such a question be posed at humanity?

Will mankind be able to answer?

Do they keep it locked up in casket?

Or carry it around in a basket?

No one questions its absence?

Has hearts been emptied out?

To create space for selfishness?

It cannot be sold, can it?

If it could, would they ban it?

Did they adopt a replacement?

Or has a clone been made?

Are we happy with the prop?

It’s placed here and there

To make life easy to bear


I hope you find true love, I really do.

But first, take in this clue

You must disown you

To make something new





Christian Sex Ed: A Book Review

We live in a time where churches do not preach about sex. Young people are not being taught about a biblical way of relationships which causes young Christians to end up broken and with sexual addictions. Dane Fragger, the author of Christian Sex Ed has researched much of the statistics of sexual addictions such as masturbation and pornography. Now when we think about these taboo acts, we mostly think of perverted men. Truth is, women are also in chains with these demonic addictions. 85% of Christians are addicted to pornography according to statistical research done by Dane Fragger. Now the church doesn’t really help because people are ashamed of their actions and are afraid to seek help for fear of being judged and looked upon in a different light.

I read the book within 3 hours due to the way it captivates the reader. (It was actually supposed to be read by a chapter a day) The book is raw and dives straight to the point and it takes no prisoners. I recommend the book as it is designed to set those in bondage free. I was a bit disturbed with the number of times the word ‘sex’ was used in that book but I felt God say: Would you rather let the world teach Christians on a different version of sex? Because that happens every single day. This is the manual of purity. You purchase his book from Amazon.


Dane Fragger is the founder of Christian Sex Ed. Ministries. Millions of believers around the world who desire to learn about dating, sex, and sexual purity view his content each month.  Christian Sex Ed: Everything You Need To Know About Sex and Purity.

Over the last couple of years, Dane has been interviewed on national television and by several highly esteemed radio stations and podcasts. He holds a bachelor’s degree in Psychology and is working towards a master’s degree in Biblical Studies. He is also a graduate of Word of Life Bible Institute. Dane has been in ministry for eight years and currently serves as a pastor on staff in Los Angeles, California, where he lives with his beautiful wife, Asia, and lovely daughters, Eliana and Elizabeth.


Why I Hate Valentines Day

Red and white colours dances throughout the day. It’s on Valentines Day. Aint that wonderful? It’s a pity that one day dedicated to love can’t solve 364 days of hate. Love supposed to be happening every day, not on one day where everyone follows the same commercialised ritual.

Historically, during a time of war, men were needed to fight in the army. Hence, marriage was forbidden. John Valentine decided to get people married which was illegal. He was caught and thrown in prison. Sentenced to death, he wrote his last love letter to his wife and signed it: ‘Your Valentine’

And ever since, people have waited for this to come every year. This day has come an excuse to approach that crush, a day secret lovers are never to be found. A day that slowly kills the insides of a secret admirer…


So let me get this straight. You wait all year around to approach her? You wait all year round to show someone love? Why not now? Why not here? Valentine’s day has broken too many hearts because they waited too long. The perfect moment is now, not on a day that everyone is doing it. How do you expect your love story to be any different from others? How is your relationship going to be unique if you are sticking to the norm?

How many people are doing the same thing over and over again? Repeating the past ain’t going to help improve your relationship. You have every day! Stop waiting for one day for it to be perfect. Nothing is perfect. Not even on 14th February!

Personally, I don’t like being paraded with questions over and over again because I don’t part take in Valentine’s day. I’m tired of explaining myself repetitively. Want to know why I am not in a relationship. I don’t think I’m ready. Period.

So may you continue to love unconditionally. Not just at allocated times but every day. Let agape love rule in your heart. So that you don’t commit your deeds of love to get something back.

Time is running out and tomorrow may not come. Love each day that passes by….

Book Review #2

Young and Saved: Living in a world that’s not like you – Dane Fragger

After seeing the advertisement of this book for so long, I just could not take it any longer. I had to get this book! The title captured my attention every time I saw it. Dane Fragger has really walked boldly into the dark shadows of the grey areas of Christianity. He doesn’t waste time spinning around the bush but deals with the problem at hand. What the church is failing to let the young people know, Dane spreads it out in broad daylight in this book.

If the Church does not teach the young people about sex, the world will do it for us…

Dane has had a dark past with all the mistakes he has made. He has repented and come to the truth of chastity and morality, walking in godliness and holiness. He now strives to get his message across to other young people so that they can avoid destroying themselves and their souls. His testimony is a great story that will teach many that this world is not worth it. AT ALL!

I could see that Dane did not go really in dept wit his past because it would not suitable for young readers. I appreciate that, he gives the message that the youth needs to hear. His theology is 100% and he doesn’t play with the truth.

Excellent read. To purchase Dane Fragger’s book, Click Here

Check him out on Instagram

Femme Fatale

Truth Series Part 3

With so many movements and changes occurring in our daily lives, we need to really sit back and find out what are the causes behind them and see if they line up with the word of God. Many Christian women claim to be feminists, but what is feminism anyway?

According to Google and the standard dictionary, feminism is the political, economical and social equality between men and women.

Nothing wrong with that, right?

Feminism has started rather innocently and has escalated to something rather unbiblical. It was about rights but now it is the hatred of men.

Men and women may have equal rights but they will never have equal authority.

There are different types of feminism, every wave seems to be more hostile towards men, a spirit of Jezebel at work…..

The new feminism claims women to be autonomous, independent of men and the right to abortion. They demand the rights over their bodies while killing another.

The feminism of today seeks to degrade men by placing women higher than men, this action is a blasphemous act against God’s word. It is the spirit of Jezebel at work, yes, even in the Church.

One of the ways to find out if something has value is to discover the origin of it. So let us discover the origin of feminism. In order to do that we need to go to the 1800’s which is known as the Victorian era. Queen Victoria ruled at this time and women were mistreated. They couldn’t own property, in fact, they were considered to be the property of their husbands. Whatever they worked for and whatever they did was for their husbands. Women were nothing but the slaves of men and sex objects. Eventually, the Victorian age passed and a woman named Stanton decided to fight for the rights of women. This included suffrage, the possession of the property and other factors that oppressed women.

The fact that feminist women are trying to be like men is the hypocritical assumption that men are superior.

Women managed to gain certain rights in the 1920’s. However, the war came and so did the Great Depression in 1929/1930. This caused all men to leave their homes to fight in the war. Women used to work in factories to make bullets and other ammunition and military equipment. Women had to play the roles of men in order to provide for their families. Many of the men died in the war and women had to look after their families on their own. After the war, women decided to fight for rights in order to gain gender equality.


The slogan “We can do it!” was a proclamation that they could also perform jobs that men could do. During the war, women worked on lathes and other engineering machines to make what was needed for the war.

It seemed as if women had won the fight. Even during the fight of independence in America in 1776, women had a great role in the freedom. The problems began during the 1970’s when women moved feminism up a notch. They fought for the right to abortion which is the killing of fetuses. Also, they claim to state that men are no longer needed since they can now perform procreation via science. Women can give birth without the natural conception that God designed. There are many waves in feminism and we need to be aware of what we are involved in.


It is of utmost importance that women and men realize what they are getting into before blindly stating that they are feminists. They must read the Bible and their eyes will be opened.


Feminism supported: 54.3% Women/37.6%% Men

Feminism not supported: 45.7% Women/64.4% Men

Open your eyes!

Case Study 1: The feminism of Amber Rose

There’s this actress and model, Amber Rose who is raising her son to be a feminist. She is accomplishing this by walking around naked around the house. Her son is 5 years old. Pornographic pictures are on the walls to increase the effort of making her son grow up a feminist. She states; “He has no choice. he must become a feminist.”

What kind of man is she raising? A man who will submit to a woman? A porn addict?

If you like, you can read this article on the US Magazine

What does the Bible say about women?

Before feminism even arrived on the scene, there was a book called the Bible. The Bible is infallible meaning it is the true word of God. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Are men and women equal? Of course not! Anatomically, emotionally and their purpose are far from equal. 

Galatians 3:28

28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

Here, it states that there is equality and God does not see men different from women. However, He does see their roles as different.

Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, 10 but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness. 11 A woman must quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness. 12 But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet. 13 For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve.

It says here that women must dress appropriately and modestly. We lack godly women in the Church! A woman must submit to a man. A man must submit to God. That is the hierarchy.





Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

Here it states that older women must teach young women to be godly wives. Women leaders must set an example to the younger women of the Church. It also states that women must look after their husband and children. Notice it says that women must be busy at home. This is how it’s supposed to be. The husband goes to work while the wife looks after the children and raise them up. You might say I am crazy but this is how God intended it to be. This doesn’t mean that women are stupid or that women shouldn’t pursue a career. Let’s look at the Proverbs 31 woman…

The Wife of Noble Character

10b A wife of noble character who can find?

She is worth far more than rubies.


Indeed she is valuable.


11 Her husband has full confidence in her

and lacks nothing of value.


She looks after her family.


12 She brings him good, not harm,

all the days of her life.


She is not self-seeking


13 She selects wool and flax

and works with eager hands.


She is a hard worker


14 She is like the merchant ships,

bringing her food from afar.


She provides food for her family.


15 She gets up while it is still night;

she provides food for her family

and portions for her female servants.


She goes out of her way for her family


16 She considers a field and buys it;

out of her earnings, she plants a vineyard.


Women can own property!


17 She sets about her work vigorously;

her arms are strong for her tasks.


Women are strong.


18 She sees that her trading is profitable,

and her lamp does not go out at night.


She has a career.


19 In her hand, she holds the distaff

and grasps the spindle with her fingers.


Yes, she works. She has a way of creating finance.


20 She opens her arms to the poor

and extends her hands to the needy.


She even helps the poor.


21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;

for all of them are clothed in scarlet.


She makes sure of the health and wellbeing of her family.


22 She makes coverings for her bed;

she is clothed in fine linen and purple.


She looks after the home.


23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,

where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.


She brings credit to her husband.


24 She makes linen garments and sells them,

and supplies the merchants with sashes.


She makes money


25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;

she can laugh at the days to come.

26 She speaks with wisdom,

and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

27 She watches over the affairs of her household

and does not eat the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise and call her blessed;

her husband also, and he praises her:

29 “Many women do noble things,

but you surpass them all.”

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;

but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

31 Honour her for all that her hands have done,

and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

I’m sure you get the point. Women are supposed to stay at home and look after the children while still pursuing their career. I know a lot of women doing this, however, since it is a hard time financially for many, women have to work to provide for their families. This act is fulfilled in Genesis 2:18

The Lord God said, ” It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

So when a woman goes to work to help the financial stability of the family, she too is fulfilling her role. The problem with this is that the children suffer.

In the old times, children were homeschooled.  Orphans used to roam the streets causing havoc. The government decided to build a school to give these orphans an education so that they won’t turn to crime in the later stages of their lives. Gradually, the school building education was adopted into society so that every child goes there for convenience. This meant that the parents can somewhat abandon their duty to pursue careers and whatever they wanted to do. Seemed like a good idea right?

It is futile for a woman to achieve great things in her career but her children don’t even know her…


They took Christ out the schools and we wonder why children go astray. They are being brainwashed to the ungodly standards of society.

For women to stay at home to look after their children is not a sign of inferiority. It is reality of their importance.

Traits of Jezebel

  • She hates authority
  • She hates men
  • She hates submission
  • She manipulates
  • She deceives
  • She is power-hungry
  • She is jealous of others
  • She worships herself
  • She takes dominance in her home (Wears the pants)
  • She is a perfectionist
  • She controls
  • She seduces
  • She is possessive
  • She hates correction
  • She wallows in self-pity in order to gain attention
  • She curses, murmurs and complains
  • She is bitter and resentful.


Facts of feminism

  • Feminism had its origin in what was right but it has veered off towards ungodliness.
  • Feminism had increased the divorce rate quite rapidly
  • First wave feminism fights for suffrage
  • Second wave feminism fights for equal pay
  • Third wave feminism fights for women to be treated like men
  • Fourth wave feminism is the futility of men since women can bear children without them.


Can women preach?

It is undoubted that a woman cannot be the head of the Church or a church. She can be a pastor but not the senior pastor. Women cannot rule over man. She must submit to her husband.

1 Timothy 2:12

12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet.

1 Corinthians 14:34

34 women are to be silent in the churches. They are not permitted to speak but must be in submission, as the Law says.

It is clear that women should not preach.

But let’s do a little history here.


The Aegean sea separated Corinth and Ephesus. Corinth held Aphrodite has their goddess and Ephesus held Artemis also known as Diana. Both goddesses were powerful in fertility and beauty. Strange enough, according to mythology, these goddesses were rivals. The goddesses emphasized women and their power, giving the notion that they ruled over men. They rule over men sexually who gave themselves to the prostitutes at the shrine who were always available. It is obvious that men were suckers for this cultic religion. Artemis was the same goddess that Jezebel stirred the Israelites to worship. He didn’t want the religions to mix. This, however, occurred during Roman Catholicism who now worship Virgin Mary as their goddess.

It is vital that we know this background because the culture affected the Church at the time. Women needed to stop being worshipped so that they could focus on Christ. Notice this instruction was given to the Corinthians and to Timothy who was preaching in Ephesus at the time. Can women have a significant role in Christianity?

Here are some significant women in the Bible:

Last at the cross, Mark 15:47

First at the tomb, John 20:1

First to proclaim the resurrection, Matthew 28:8

First to witness to the Jews, Luke 2:37/38

Attended the first prayer meeting, Acts 1:14

First to greet Christian missionaries (Paul and Silas) in Europe, Acts 16:13

First European convert, Acts 16:14


Deborah fought for freedom for the Israelite nation. Esther saved Israel from genocide. The Samaritan woman preached about Jesus to her city and many were saved. Women financially assisted the ministry of Jesus. Never underestimate the power of women.

Joel 2:28-29

28 “And afterwards,
    I will pour out my Spirit on all people.
Your sons and daughters will prophesy,
    your old men will dream dreams,
    your young men will see visions.
29 Even on my servants, both men and women,
    I will pour out my Spirit in those days.

So since the Spirit of God has been poured out on both men and women, who are we to stop women from preaching? I firmly believe we will have the full rights to stop woman preaching when men step up to plate! The roles of women can only be set in place when men are fully functional in their roles. When men have affairs and leave his divorced wife for another woman, this causes the woman to complete two roles for her children. (Of course, when a man dies, the woman suffers but that’s why the Church is supposed to help the widows and orphans.)

When men beat their wives, they are cowards!

When men go out to drink with friends or go gambling in casinos, they are pulling their wives from their roles as they are not fulfilling their own godly roles in their family. Men must stand up! Otherwise, women will have to fill the role in!


Case Study 2: The feminism of Lauren Southern

Lauren Southern, with the help of Rebel Media, decided to cover the Slutwalk on her story. The Slutwalk is a parade done by women scantily dressed to protest against rape. How does this help?

When asked about rape victims being pushed under the carpet in colleges, Miss USA stated that colleges do this to preserve their reputation. She also stated that she learned self-defence to protect herself from rapists. She received ramifications on Twitter because the best thing to do was to teach men not to rape women. Really?

Watch this video by Lauren Southern, Why I am not a feminist.

Feminism is the voice of Jezebel.

Case study 3: Kathryn Kuhlman

In one of Kathryn Kuhlman’s books, it is mentioned that God had called 5 men into the ministry but they refused. God then called Kathryn who was a woman. In the 1930’s, she began to preach and evangelize. This is a profound example of Deborah in the Bible. No man would stand up for Israel so a woman had to. If men are not obedient to the calling of God, He will use a woman to finish the job.

Feminism and male chauvinism occurs when men and women fight against each other instead of working together.

So in inclusion, women are amazing and she was created for a purpose and for a reason. They are not to be slaves nor are they to be mistreated. Husbands are not to push their wives around but to lead her to Christ.

1 Peter 3:7

Husbands, in the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

Men, harsh treatment of your wife can hinder your prayers from being answered! Women were created for a special reason. They have a special role in humanity and for them to even attempt to be masculine is an act against God’s handiwork. Women cannot be independent, neither can men. So in terms of rights, the belief in equality isn’t feminism. It is the freedom that Christ has given unto us. We must not abuse these privileges for our own gain but to extend the kingdom of God.

For an apologetic view on feminism, I greatly suggest that you watch Ravi Zacharias on Youtube.

I really enjoyed researching this topic, the length of this blog post is evidence of that. It really brought a lot into the light and I feel like a journalist. I would like to thank the following people and organizations who assisted me in this research:

Leon Hardouin

Johan Viljoen

Bibiche Marie

Lauren Southern



US Magazine


The local Library

Women’s rights movement, book by Jennifer Joline Anderson.


Truth Series Part 2

Before we continue, let’s find out what the LGBTQ stands for because it is ridiculous!

LGBTQ – Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans-Gender or Questioning.

For those of you who don’t know…

Lesbian is a woman who is in attracted to another woman.

Gay is a man who is attracted to another man.

Bisexual is a man or woman who can is attracted to both genders.

Trans-Gender is a man or woman who changes his/her(Does it matter?) gender to the opposite.

Questioning is someone who hasn’t a cooking clue what he or she is. This person is confused and does not know yet the outcome of her sexuality.

Let’s not forget pansexual which is a person who is blind to gender and can be attracted to any one of the above.

The abbreviation started in the 90’s as LGB but now they just seem to be adding letters to this. Eventually, they will make it a word!

Homosexuality is wrong. It’s not right. Period. Marriage is ordained by God yet homosexual marriages have been taken place, a rebellious act against God’s rules. The Bible says that homosexuality is a sin. Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed by fire and brimstone because of the homosexuality that took place in that wicked city. Understand that the word sodomy comes from Sodom. For those in doubt, here’s a whole list of scriptures that state that homosexuality is a sin:

Genesis 19

Romans 1:18-32

Leviticus 18:22 You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them.

1 Corinthians 6:9-10 Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

1 Timothy 1:8-10 The law is not laid down for the just but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for those who strike their fathers and mothers, for murderers, for the sexually immoral, men who practice homosexuality, enslavers, liars, perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound doctrine.

The distorted desires that they claim to feel is a sign that they have turned from God and are far from Him. Imagine that!

Homosexuality is demonic. Homosexuals are being influenced by demonic influences that are causing them to find the same gender attractive. Jesus can set them free from this trap. He is the only one who can. If you don’t believe me about the demonic influence, go research about the Shamans who were leaders of the native tribes. The spirit of some kind would come upon him and he would have sexual relations with other men and possibly animals. The fact that this spirit is involved is an indication that homosexuality is, in fact, a demonic spirit that descends on those who are at the questioning stage. It is most possible that they would be everything else except heterosexual because Satan does not want anyone to obey God. Already we have the outrageous concept of CisGender. Imagine you are a parent and is about to have a child. You hope it is a boy? Or a girl? Well, I’m sorry sir/ma’am but your child is CisGender meaning that we cannot say that it is male or female because your child will have to decide one day for yourself. So keep it CisMale or CisFemale for now and you will only know what they are after the questioning stage is over. How enlightening! Oh wait a minute, let’s look at Genesis 1:27, He made them male and female…

Homosexuality is demonic. If you don’t believe me, read the extract below from Wikipedia…

Among indigenous peoples of the Americas prior to European colonization, a common form of same-sex sexuality centered around the figure of the Two-Spirit individual. Typically, this individual was recognized early in life, given a choice by the parents to follow the path and, if the child accepted the role, raised in the appropriate manner, learning the customs of the gender it had chosen. Two-Spirit individuals were commonly shamans and were revered as having powers beyond those of ordinary shamans. Their sexual life was with the ordinary tribe members of the same sex.

Demons are evil spirits that come to torment and lead people away from God. Homosexuality is a sin and is against God’s sacred law of marriage and relationships. Homosexuality can take you to hell. It is best that you repent and believe in Jesus. He can set you free from this unholy attraction.


When people tell you that homosexuality is all in your genes, they are lying. You are not born that way! A study was done on twins. One was straight, the other was gay. It has nothing to do with your genes. If it did, that would mean it is a mutation and they would find a cure since they are telling you that you have a disease! Homosexuality is not a disease, it’s a choice! They just want to find a way to explain what you go through and then justify it. It’s a lie! God made man for woman and woman for man. No exceptions.

Homosexuality may be triggered in your upbringing as well. If a child has an abusive father, they can end up being a gay or lesbian. An absent father. An absent mother. An abusive relative. A divorce. An abusive relationship etc. All these can trigger someone to become a homosexual but it’s not going to happen in all cases. There could be other factors as well.

Bisexuality is a sin. God made a relation with two people. Polygamous relationships are not of God. Bisexuality also implies homosexuality which is a sin as discussed above.

Transgender is a very serious sin. God made you as you are. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Now if you become a transgender, you have taken what God has done and thrown in the trash. You then pick up Satan’s fake identity and place that on. Transgender is a sin. You can’t ask someone to accept a transgender as they are when they weren’t even able to accept themselves! When you are born, you have DNA that states your gender. You can’t change that! God made you that way. You change it. Accept it! A transgender cannot have the intricate of the gender they choose. A man that changes to a female cannot fall pregnant. How much more proof do you need?

Think about this… a transgender commits a crime. The police are trying to solve the case. The forensics pick up that the offender is a male. The transgender looks female. Will he be suspected? Or will he get away with it?



Is this how we are going to raise our children?

The sad thing about this is that they are involving children in this mess. Children were parading around in rainbow coloured outfits. Strange enough, the rainbow is a symbol of God’s promise to never wipe out the earth with a flood. These children have taken part in erotic dances to entertain homosexuals who were promoting their sin. Now they want to legalize paedophilia! They want to add it to the LGBTQ list as a sexual preference. How sick can people get? Children all around the world are being killed before being born, and when they do make it, they have to face molestation and incest! What is happening in the world we are living in? A Jewish man who is happy about the endorsement of homosexuality has now stated that “Sex with animals is okay as long as the animal is willing.”

What depraved minds have we on this planet? That we are breaking the laws of God. Are they creating another Sodom and Gomorrah? Well, hell is hot and ready…



To start of with this topic, I would like to say that I am entirely inexperienced to write about this. I actually feel like I’m doing something illegal as it is not in my alley. I’m single but I just want to write this so that one day if I am married, I can come back to see what I have written. I wonder what I will say, maybe; “Kristian, you really had no idea!”

I know a lot of people have been married recently and I know there’s some who will be married in the near future. There’s a point I want to bring across here and I hope you understand it. I’m no expert and you can disagree, let me know what your opinions are in the comment section at the bottom.

What is marriage? According to Google, it is;

The legally or formally recognized union of man and woman as partners in a personal relationship…

That means that if anything else is done, it is illegal. Fornication is illegal and so is divorce. So wait till marriage before you do anything intimate, and once you are married, there’s no going back!

The strange thing is that we see couples so in love with each other, they always smile at each other and every glance is a blush. How blissful is this wonder! And you get the buzz kill guy saying; “Just wait till they get married!”

Years later, those same two people who couldn’t live without each other now can’t live with each other. They complain, complain and complain. They don’t compliment each other, they don’t say; “I love you” anymore.

The man complains to his friends about his wife and the woman complains about her husband to her friends. Somebody just tell what the heck just happened!


The true lesson of love comes after marriage and so does the true test of love.

When a couple have a child, this is where things start to get real. Think about it! You have a child, you have to look after this child. This is your child. Feed, clean, clothe, look after and care for. Can the child give the anything back? No it cannot, but you still raise the child because you love your child unconditionally. A lot of people don’t see the lesson in marriage. That child grows up and becomes a teenager and treats you with disrespect, has attitude and annoy you to the core, do you stop caring? Why? Because love is unconditional. How much more should we love our partners, the ones who we ourselves have chosen?

You may say; “But Kristian, you haven’t been married so you don’t know what it’s like!”. That’s true but remember, you made a commitment. no one forced you to. You did it on your own will. You enjoyed the company and the honeymoon and now when things go rough, you don’t want to live up to the very words of commitment that changed your life?

Love isn’t something you fall into, love is something you commit to. It’s constant through the good and bad times. it cannot be based on feelings, conditions, circumstances or differences.

I have been to many weddings, I hate it when an old aunty grabs the microphone and says; “Marriage is about compromise.”. I grit my teeth every time I hear that because it’s not about compromise, it’s about commitment.

I read a book recently by Dave Willis, Seven Laws of Love, in this book the author had done extreme research of Biblical scriptures to explain the laws of love. I recommend this book whether you are single or married. In this book, he spoke of a couple who loved each other very much. They were old but they looked at each other like their were still teenagers in love. They went on their first date on the 17th of March, a month later, on the 17th of April, he gave her a rose as an anniversary gift. A month later, he bought her another rose. He repeated this action every month for 55 years, giving her a total of 648 rose! I’m not saying that you must buy a rose every month, I’m going to do that now so don’t copy me!

It’s not about the roses! It’s not about the stuff! It’s about the thoughtfulness! That’s what makes it the difference! There’s a marriage counsellor who spends 45 minutes with a couple and can tell how long the marriage will last. How? He notices the attentiveness of the couple.

You will always love what you show most attention to, and you will always show attention to what you love the most…

So remember, you are not in competition with your spouse, it is a union. Just because you are a match doesn’t mean there must be a match between you and them. Work together, not against. Some people are already divorced before they even sign the papers! When you realise that marriage is working with each other to fight against anything that might break it apart, you and your partner will be inseparable.

Some think that love is a rose blossoming at the right soil and environment but in reality, it is a cactus in the desert thriving even in the most hostile conditions.

Pride is the number one killer of relationships. Pride is an assassin sent from the devil to annihilate marriages and relationships. The problem begins when we try to be better than the other instead of being one with them. If Christ is in the centre of the relationship, you can be assured that it will last. You will definitely have your ups and downs, no doubt, but you will overcome them all because Christ is in the marriage. It’s not going to be all blissful hunky-dory without any problems. 

You have to keep the fire burning. You can’t expect to have a relationship if you don’t maintain it. The most important investment into your marriage would be your time. if you not going to spend most of your time with your spouse, don’t waste anymore of your time getting married. It’s not going to work!

If you don’t build on your marriage, you are taking it apart.

Watch the power of your tongue. If you speak negatively about your partner whether in person or behind their backs, you are bound to create a rift between the two of you. Most of the time, a spouse will fall in love with the person they confide in about their partners. They will compare and of course a stranger will appear to be more caring and loving, reason is, you don’t really know that person that well. This is how affairs begin!

Do not express the intimate details of your marriage to anyone. Marriage is a holy covenant that must not be mocked with friends or colleagues. Those precious moments with your spouse must be treasured and not spurned to be trampled by others.

Don’t rush into marriage because all your friends are doing it. Don’t do it because it will improve your status. Don’t do it because you are lonely or bored. Marriage isn’t about receiving love, it’s about giving it.