Just My Thoughts…

I don’t like this world that we are living in. I don’t know if it’s just me or is there others out there? So much of brokenness around us and what are we doing? Those who complain about this sick world are probably the ones causing the problems or doing nothing about it. We live in a world that will grab a Ferrari at the expense of your bread and butter. Giving is better than taking but no one believes that anymore. We live in a society that aims high, so high that they will trample others to get there. Morals are out the window and what’s left in the room apart from chaos? We think we are good people because of what we have as if we worked for it but did we? We just acted shrewdly to obtain things without batting an eye. That’s the world we live in and sadly some people get into the rat race and they never get out of it. The rat race is when we strive to have a better lifestyle. So we get that car, we get that house, and all the luxuries that you can’t afford because it’s all on credit. Then you have a promotion and you earn more. So what do you do? Because you earn more you decide to upgrade your life. This results in you getting more in debt and you still have no money. So what has changed? Nothing! You still in the same situation, your life hasn’t improved! You still chasing money because of the debts and you still can’t sleep at night. We then compromise our morals because we are afraid of losing our jobs so we will do anything we are told to do. Hence, we are slaves…

Money has destroyed people by its existence and by its absence…

What about the Church? What are they doing? They are also in the system. Are they not? They preach promotion and money and blessings! You hardly hear about Christ and what He has done for you anymore. It’s all about what He can do for you if you pay more tithes. All those people who dress wealthily are handsomely welcomed but if a beggar came in, would they be treated Christlike? I don’t know. They probably would look down on them and think that God was punishing that person for their lack of faith. I remember being in a prosperity church when I was a kid. Everyone looked down on you as if you were a sinner. Strange enough, I probably knew the Bible more than them. I’m not boasting, they were. I remember when a man told my Dad during a meeting that the reason why he was battling financially was that he hardly spent time with God. Strange though, my Dad always had devotion every night. He attended church services religiously but that doesn’t matter, right? I would pray for God to bless me and provide all the things I needed but all I heard was my voice echoing off the ceiling and coming back to me with silence. Where you at God?

Some people treat God like He’s an ATM

‘Draw’ me close to you is what we say to Him

I stopped praying for blessings a long time ago. My good works don’t qualify for God’s grace. Yes, He provides but He gives because of His grace, not because He owes you. Not because you are a Christian. Not because you pay tithes. God is God and He is above all things. He cares for you. I learnt a lot during those times of struggle. It showed me my true friends and sadly, they are extremely few.

 

I wrote a book and wanted to publish it but I didn’t have the finances. I eventually got a job but now I don’t have time to edit it. I don’t have time to write anymore. I got a old laptop that takes long so I can’t do it when I come back from work. I write my poetry free style on the internet. I create these quotes for Instagram but that comes from my thoughts in my head. Sometimes I’m unable to write that thought down and so I forget it, never to return again. I said things to people that made them cry yet on the other side of the world someone is hating me for telling the truth. I encourage one person and then switch to someone who is debating against the Gospel. Atheists, Calvinists and people who believe that I’m too religious. Currently, 32% of my followers say that I’m too judgmental. I guess that’s what they call those who tell the truth. I write poetry for the Church and I know they not going to like it. But the day is coming when I will say what I need to say, and they will have to hear the truth.

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Enough of the past and the present. Let’s go to the future. I’ve been thinking about a lot of the One who I will be spending my life with. I haven’t met her yet and I’m starting to question her existence. It’s hard searching for something rare but it’s even harder waiting for something that you expect to be coming. Especially when the clock is ticking. Many of my friends are already married or are thinking about it. I have never dated before because I’m waiting patiently for the One. People ridicule me, I don’t care but what if she isn’t real? I want a godly woman but it’s hard to see some in my church! I guess my standards are too high or they just succumbed to the status quo of church women? Maybe I’m too religious or self-righteous but I’m not willing to compromise who I am for the sake of infatuation. I’m not saying that these women are low standard but I’m not going to be in a relationship where there is no compatibility.

“Don’t worry Kristian, you will find a nice godly woman who you will marry.”

“Thanks, but I stopped believing in fairytales a long time ago…”

I’m someone with logic. I won’t give it up for emotions. Too many people let down their morals for beauty. But I rather find beauty in someone who leads me to Christ. You would be surprised to find how many people who regret marrying who they are married to right now. They hate men/women and trash talk marriage. I don’t want to end up like that. To marry someone is to dedicate your entire life to that person so you have to make the right decision! If you are interested in someone, don’t go hitting them up over text, they can hide who they are with those emoji’s. Spend time face to face and then you will know who you are dealing with. Because if you are having a relationship over a mobile device, chances are you will one day marry that stranger!

I have to admit that I have like girls in the past. Girls that I had admired or maybe I was just infatuated with but I never pursue them because I knew I wasn’t ready. The question is: How will I know when I am?

I feel in love with someone. Or probably the illusion that I have created in my mind of who she is or will be like. Chances are, my dreams will come true or I’ll be greatly disappointed…

The Definition Of Love

The world shouts out a definition, a definition of love. Yet they can’t even pronounce it! Influencers shove infatuation and sensuality down the throats of young people who chase a shadow. And we wonder why they lack substance?

Detrimentally to the souls of people, they pursue a fake depiction of love, hollow lust. Torn and broken, they speak bad of love, yet they scandal something they don’t even know…

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We err to think that love is a rose, a rose that only blossoms when present in favourable conditions. When in fact, love is a cactus thriving in the desert, irrespective if there is rain or not, it still has the ability to give water. Love isn’t based on conditions, it is unconditional. It isn’t based on what it can benefit but it cares infinitely. So ask yourself if you truly love, because many of us don’t. We think we love but in actual reality, we are submerged in lust. Would you love with someone who is not faithful to you? Would you love someone who is bent on bringing you harm? Your answer would be ‘no’. Yet Christ loved unconditionally, He loved those who were still in sin, even for those who rejected Him.

Love can never be wasted because love isn’t based upon reciprocity. – C.S. Lewis

Unless we love like Christ, we don’t love at all…

So don’t follow the methods of this world, their view of love isn’t sacred or real. It’s an illusion that only meets your emotional needs for a short time. The real thing is authentic. Lust pleases now but hurts later, love hurts now but lasts forever.

As long as you expect something back for your action, you have not operated in love but in lust…

So next time, when you say “I love you”, just think about what you are actually saying, it means much more than that…

Marriage

To start of with this topic, I would like to say that I am entirely inexperienced to write about this. I actually feel like I’m doing something illegal as it is not in my alley. I’m single but I just want to write this so that one day if I am married, I can come back to see what I have written. I wonder what I will say, maybe; “Kristian, you really had no idea!”

I know a lot of people have been married recently and I know there’s some who will be married in the near future. There’s a point I want to bring across here and I hope you understand it. I’m no expert and you can disagree, let me know what your opinions are in the comment section at the bottom.

What is marriage? According to Google, it is;

The legally or formally recognized union of man and woman as partners in a personal relationship…

That means that if anything else is done, it is illegal. Fornication is illegal and so is divorce. So wait till marriage before you do anything intimate, and once you are married, there’s no going back!

The strange thing is that we see couples so in love with each other, they always smile at each other and every glance is a blush. How blissful is this wonder! And you get the buzz kill guy saying; “Just wait till they get married!”

Years later, those same two people who couldn’t live without each other now can’t live with each other. They complain, complain and complain. They don’t compliment each other, they don’t say; “I love you” anymore.

The man complains to his friends about his wife and the woman complains about her husband to her friends. Somebody just tell what the heck just happened!

 

The true lesson of love comes after marriage and so does the true test of love.

When a couple have a child, this is where things start to get real. Think about it! You have a child, you have to look after this child. This is your child. Feed, clean, clothe, look after and care for. Can the child give the anything back? No it cannot, but you still raise the child because you love your child unconditionally. A lot of people don’t see the lesson in marriage. That child grows up and becomes a teenager and treats you with disrespect, has attitude and annoy you to the core, do you stop caring? Why? Because love is unconditional. How much more should we love our partners, the ones who we ourselves have chosen?

You may say; “But Kristian, you haven’t been married so you don’t know what it’s like!”. That’s true but remember, you made a commitment. no one forced you to. You did it on your own will. You enjoyed the company and the honeymoon and now when things go rough, you don’t want to live up to the very words of commitment that changed your life?

Love isn’t something you fall into, love is something you commit to. It’s constant through the good and bad times. it cannot be based on feelings, conditions, circumstances or differences.

I have been to many weddings, I hate it when an old aunty grabs the microphone and says; “Marriage is about compromise.”. I grit my teeth every time I hear that because it’s not about compromise, it’s about commitment.

I read a book recently by Dave Willis, Seven Laws of Love, in this book the author had done extreme research of Biblical scriptures to explain the laws of love. I recommend this book whether you are single or married. In this book, he spoke of a couple who loved each other very much. They were old but they looked at each other like their were still teenagers in love. They went on their first date on the 17th of March, a month later, on the 17th of April, he gave her a rose as an anniversary gift. A month later, he bought her another rose. He repeated this action every month for 55 years, giving her a total of 648 rose! I’m not saying that you must buy a rose every month, I’m going to do that now so don’t copy me!

It’s not about the roses! It’s not about the stuff! It’s about the thoughtfulness! That’s what makes it the difference! There’s a marriage counsellor who spends 45 minutes with a couple and can tell how long the marriage will last. How? He notices the attentiveness of the couple.

You will always love what you show most attention to, and you will always show attention to what you love the most…

So remember, you are not in competition with your spouse, it is a union. Just because you are a match doesn’t mean there must be a match between you and them. Work together, not against. Some people are already divorced before they even sign the papers! When you realise that marriage is working with each other to fight against anything that might break it apart, you and your partner will be inseparable.

Some think that love is a rose blossoming at the right soil and environment but in reality, it is a cactus in the desert thriving even in the most hostile conditions.

Pride is the number one killer of relationships. Pride is an assassin sent from the devil to annihilate marriages and relationships. The problem begins when we try to be better than the other instead of being one with them. If Christ is in the centre of the relationship, you can be assured that it will last. You will definitely have your ups and downs, no doubt, but you will overcome them all because Christ is in the marriage. It’s not going to be all blissful hunky-dory without any problems. 

You have to keep the fire burning. You can’t expect to have a relationship if you don’t maintain it. The most important investment into your marriage would be your time. if you not going to spend most of your time with your spouse, don’t waste anymore of your time getting married. It’s not going to work!

If you don’t build on your marriage, you are taking it apart.

Watch the power of your tongue. If you speak negatively about your partner whether in person or behind their backs, you are bound to create a rift between the two of you. Most of the time, a spouse will fall in love with the person they confide in about their partners. They will compare and of course a stranger will appear to be more caring and loving, reason is, you don’t really know that person that well. This is how affairs begin!

Do not express the intimate details of your marriage to anyone. Marriage is a holy covenant that must not be mocked with friends or colleagues. Those precious moments with your spouse must be treasured and not spurned to be trampled by others.

Don’t rush into marriage because all your friends are doing it. Don’t do it because it will improve your status. Don’t do it because you are lonely or bored. Marriage isn’t about receiving love, it’s about giving it.

 

 

The Mantle Of Paternity

Since it’s Father’s Day, I want to explain the significant role of a father in a family. You will be surprised how much impact a father has in the future generation…

Now people might disagree with I have to say but I have scriptural back up. People say that there is no such thing as generational curses, however, this only true for those in christ Jesus. The problem lies in those who operate outside of Christ and in darkness.

Your sin will be the next generation’s curse. Your obedience will be the next generation’s mantle.

The smallest things you do has great effects on the next generation. Therefore, you have a great responsibility as a father. In Genesis 20, Abraham lied to Abimelech saying that “Sarah was his sister”. He was reprimanded by Abimelech for this. Strange enough, Isaac the son of Abraham did the exact same thing in Genesis 26. this small lies became a deception in the next generation when Jacob deceived his father for Esau’s blessing (Genesis 27). In fact, Jacob’s name means ‘he deceives’.

Jacob had twelve sons and one daughter. Joseph the son of his dear wife Rachel was his all time favourite. This didn’t please the other brothers so they decided to get rid of him (Genesis 37:12-36). They sold him to the Midianites who sold him to Egypt. The brothers then returned to their father with Joseph’s multi coloured robe and told him the greatest deception ever. For over ten years, Jacob grieved the death of his son who was still alive! A simple lie grew exponentially over generations causing a lot of pain.

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All in all, we see God turning these things into good. How? because those in Christ are no longer under the curse. It is broken for those who are seeking God but those who rebel will receive their due. Be not deceived, God is not mocked. Whatever a man sows, that shall he reap (Galatians 6:7).

So fathers, you have a responsibility of what you do. Children may not do what you say but they do what you do. Whatever you do, your child will do better. Look at Elijah and Elisha! Elisha considered Elijah as a father and he performed twice as many miracles as him! If you sin, your child will do it greater. If you leave a godly legacy, your child will leave a greater one behind.

The Curse Of Comparison

According to psychology, one of the most evident causes for unhappiness is comparing yourself to others. This is profoundly true. It is amazing how comparing yourself to others can rid you the joy of what you have.

It is a proven fact that Facebook causes depression in their users because everyone seems to be happier than you.

If you don’t believe me, compare your significant other to someone else and see what happens. People don’t like being compared to others, why should we do that to ourselves?

When I was in high school, I wasn’t the most intelligent but people assumed that I was and many approached me for help with certain subjects. Some students used to say that before every exam I would eat the textbook and vomit it out on the test papers. The strangest thing is that there were more intelligent students than me. There was one guy who used to throw a fuss because he had 99% for a maths paper and he would demand from the teacher for that 1%. And here I am, thanking God that I got my 80%.

Happiness is relative.

Yet I always asked God: How come those students who don’t even know you, achieve such good grade and I don’t?

I went through school and eventually, the last day arrived and as I waited for my Dad to pick me up I overheard those students speaking about the drugs that they had taken during a party and that they were plotting for another go at it. I then realized something: They may be intelligent but that doesn’t mean that they have wisdom…

Wisdom can only come from God. Intelligence is from this world and it means nothing without God.

So remember, next time you compare yourself to others, what are you missing in your own life that you haven’t seen yet? What troubles are you begging from God that is in the that person’s life that you wish you could have? What standard are you using to justify that your life is dull and mundane? Is it the worldly standard or the will of God?

The world will tell you that you will be happy when you have that great job, marriage, house and car but look around, we see divorces, stressed jobs that leave no time for family, a car that drives you to places you don’t want to go and a empty house.

The comparison complex affects everyone but we need to snap out of it. The famous one is the single comparison. I used to be affected with this. There comes a time when you realize that you are single and it is like an epiphany. Strange enough, everywhere you go you see happy couples. They are mesmerized by each other and you wish you had someone by your side. What makes it worse is that I do online surveys and every one of them asks me my relationship status. Single.

The world has made it seem that singleness is a disease or some kind of hardship. but it is just a temporary time in your life. Enjoy your singleness, because once you lose it, to gain it back with either be the tragedy of divorce or widowhood.

EX-Factor

Since everyone is not infallible, it is possible to make mistakes. You may have been led by your emotions to be involved in a relationship that you weren’t supposed to. This caused you to have an ex.

Personally, I don’t have any exes because I live by this motto:

A smart man makes a mistake and he learns from it. A wise man, however, will learn from the smart man and miss the mistake altogether.

Am I any better than anyone else? No. Will my marriage better than yours? Never! It is God that makes marriages to last. People just need to involve Him in it.

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What annoys me the most is the talk of exes. If you are in a new relationship, FORGET YOUR EX!

Broke up recently? FORGET YOU EX!

You get people who talk for hours about how bad their ex was and what they did. Wait a minute…. you dated this girl right? You had a relationship with him right? It’s not like they put a gun to your head and forced you to be in that relationship. You made a choice! Technically, it is also your fault so stop blaming people. Stop blaming yourself and move on.

This blog post was instigated by these Instagram posts that stated the following:

  • He will be the reason why the previous relationship never worked out
  • He will love you the way you supposed to be loved in the previous relationship
  • She will be the reason why it never worked out.
  • Sometimes a break up is a blessing in disguise. (REALLY?)
  • My goal as a king is to show you the love that your last man never could

If you still hate your ex, you are still not ready for a relationship and the chances are that you will compare your current significant other to that person.

Look, it might be hard to grasp but that ex will meet a significant other and live happily married for the rest of your life while you are still grieving the loss. So keep your eyes on God, He will lead you to the One that will love you like Christ…..


Don’t get into a relationship with someone who is not Christminded. Do not be unequally yoked. A lot of Christians keep away from dating non-Christians. But they must keep away from self proclaimed Christians too. There are guys who act Christian so that they can get a girlfriend in Church. Ladies, stay away from them. They will lead you astray. And yes, it works both ways. Vice Versa.

Courting Vs Dating

I am not entirely qualified for this topic but I’m going to write about it anyway. I just feel that people are constantly making wrong decisions because it’s based on feelings instead of waiting on God.

It is clear that dating and courting are very different. They actually contradict each other. However, courting and godly dating could be synonymous  but I prefer to be old fashioned by calling it ‘courting’.

Whereas courting was always the norm, the term ‘dating’ derived from the year 1896.  Courting involved one partner and then marriage. Dating, however, involves hanging out with someone and then dumping them because they don’t seem to be the one and history is repeated.

It is a proven fact, that when you break up with someone, the more you want to see them and be with them. Ultimately, it was never intended for us to make relationships and break them…

There are many dates in a month but only one court in a district.

After the norm of dating had begun, divorce rates soared up 20 times over. That’s 2000%! Every Christian person that I met who is currently ‘dating’ someone have failed to answer this one question that I ask: Have you prayed before you started dating?

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Courting is for people who are ready to be in a relationship and are looking for someone to spend the rest of their lives with. That someone, of course, must be a godly someone.

Dating is for those who want to have fun, waste people’s time and end up damaging themselves and hurting others. (In my next post ‘Soul Ties‘, I will explain how).

So what’s so special about courting? Courting involves your parents…

Yes! Who can give you better godly advice than your parents? Why not invite her for lunch at your home so that your parents can meet her? Why not go for supper at his house to meet his parents? Many times, a couple will reveal their spouse when they have already proposed marriage and the parents literally hate them. And by then, it would be too late. You end up spending the rest of your life with a monster-in-law.

What’s wrong with going on the first date with an adult? If you want to go alone, what are your intentions?

A lot of people are going into relationships without even praying about it. And when it doesn’t work out, they blame God! Unreal!

When I was in school I made sure I never get entangled in a relationship at such a young age. Even when a girl asked me to the matric dance (prom) I still said no. That’s a bit religious I guess. What’s even worse was that I didn’t have transport to the venue and so that same girl gave me a lift to the dance. With. Her. Partner!


I can’t believe I’m doing this but here are some tips on relationships:

For guys

  • You are to pursue but don’t stalk. Make sure you first pray. The lion doesn’t always catch the prey.
  • Don’t flirt with girls if you don’t intend to pursue a relationship that will lead to marriage.
  • Abstain from all sexual influences such as pornography and promiscuous friends who talk about vulgar things
  • Don’t let the world shape your view of a relationship
  • Stay away from Jezebels
  • Read the Bible version of relationships
  • If she is not interested, leave her alone.
  • Sex before marriage is a sin

For girls

  • Pray before getting into a relationship
  • You must wait. Don’t ever pursue.
  • Don’t go around flirting
  • Don’t get into a relationship because you are lonely. That only means that your entire happiness is based on another individual and not in God alone.
  • Don’t get into a relationship with a guy if you have no intentions to marry
  • Don’t compare yourself to others. Just because they are in a relationship doesn’t mean that they are happy. It doesn’t mean that it’s going to last either.
  • Don’t let your search for a partner be inspired by chick flicks
  • Stay away from players
  • If he is not prepared to wait during the prayer interval. He will not be patient in other things.
  • If you think a guy is going to complete you, you haven’t met Jesus yet.

To make up or not to make up?

Should Christian women wear makeup or not? I might end up single for the rest of my life saying this but I have to tell the truth. According to the Bible, the only person who wore makeup was Jezebel (2 Kings 9:30). To say that Jezebel was a bad person would be an understatement. She was a feminist witch.

Also in 1 Timothy 2:9

Likewise, I want the women to adornthemselves with respectable apparel, withmodesty, and with self-control, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes,

As you can see, theologically, women shouldn’t really wear makeup.

But let’s use logic….

While you are single…

A guy will look at you and the makeup will stimulate an attraction because of the bright colours. Ladies, do you really want a guy who loves the way you look by anatomy? Or do you want him to love you by who you are?

While you are married…

There’s no reason to wear makeup when you are married because your husband loves you for who you are….unless you are trying to attract attention from other men?????

In conclusion, makeup does harm to your face. And you have to keep using it to ‘look good’. So be happy with the way God made you….



My Plan

So hypothetically speaking, if I like a girl. I will pray about it. If God gives me the ‘go ahead’, I will not even go to her. I will go to her father or mother. I will tell them that I am interested in their daughter. I will then ask if I could have lunch with them. Then on the day, while eating with them, I will be interrogated by the parents and they will eventually know everything about me. (Including the daughter).

And then I will leave. I will not say a word to her. Her parents will…..