The Ultimate Relationship Guide and the Endless Possibilities of Love

In a world that celebrates the idea of love but refuses to embrace it in all its entirety, will we ever have relationships that have longevity? Toxic traits, broken promises, incompatibility, inconsistency, unsavoury surprises, infidelity, unequal yokes and unrequited love. All these are the fears that one may have, yet they are drowned in the surge of emotions that engulfs us when we are attracted to someone. I’ve been on a journey, discovering the very basics concepts of love and relationships, only to find that several more questions are added to the list for every answer I obtain. We all know that love isn’t a feeling; it’s a choice. Yet we speak the terminology of the clueless romantic:

Love is blind.

It was love at first sight. (But I thought love was blind?)

I’m in love

I’ve fallen in love. (Then get up!)

It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. (Really?)

 

All these crazy phrases are but the deceptions of society, twisting the perceptions of individuals who are truly seeking love. I have to admit that I myself am in search of love. I am looking for a godly wife, a chaste woman with whom I will spend the rest of my days chasing after God. However, it’s not that easy. We are told to use biblical methods to find the right partner. Women are told to wait while the men are advised to pursue. But who do you pursue? If there are a hundred godly women on the planet, who would pursue a relationship with? Some may say that you pursue the most attractive, but is that not our own perspective of things? And are we not basing our relationships on looks? What standard of godliness are we judging by? How godly must she be before she is too religious and legalistic? Therefore, we can presume two facts from this scenario:

  1. The woman waits and only entertains a man who is pursuing her when she receives confirmation from God.
  2. The man finds an attractive woman, brings her before God in prayer and waits for confirmation to pursue.

If such actions are carried out, not only would there be a good relationship with God before the relationship begins, but a good spiritual background for a couple to build their marriage upon. We would also commit to a relationship that would last a long time because God ordained it; marriage is only destined to end by death. Even though this fallen world has good justifications reasons for divorce, I still disagree with such a notion. Divorce wasn’t supposed to exist, and sadly, many prepare for it before they are even married. Others have developed failsafe structures in their lives to safeguard them if a divorce occurs. Abuse and infidelity are some of the largest contributions to divorce but doesn’t it boil down to your choice of partner? And have we heard Gods voice about the One we want to court? Other divorce reasons are like: I don’t love him/her anymore. That doesn’t make sense. Something can only become less interesting because the time spent with it has lessened. When effort isn’t invested in a relationship, it will begin to fade.

 

I’ve come across many people who claim that they knew he/she was the one they were going to marry. This doesn’t make sense to me because they cannot explain how they came to that conclusion. This does leave room for personal preferences and opinion and not divine truth. In a recent online show, I asked a pastor this question since he had married recently. He stated that he didn’t hear a voice from God because his choice was in the biblical description of a godly woman and his preference.

 

“God doesn’t tell us who to marry, or else it wouldn’t be free will. He does, however, guide us to the right partner.

 

God is not limited to telling us who to marry, though. You could have a dream of him/her before the actual encounter. There are many stories of that happening before. That’s my preference of things anyway, more clarity. Confirmation can also be tricked by our own minds because our minds can create them. I know a friend from school who liked a Christian girl he saw every day on a bus. He began praying about it. During a time of prayer, he asked God about her, and his phone began to ring. It was her calling. He took it as a sign of confirmation. Remember, the devil also loves interrupting prayer with distractions. I had countless times when the telephone rang for no reason during prayer time. A week later, I asked my friend how things were with his new girlfriend, and he responded: “She’s not my girlfriend; that girl is crazy!” A good relationship with God is the only way to ascertain a long-lasting relationship. Men need to know two Bible verses before they even look for someone to have a relationship:

  1. Proverbs 18:22 He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favour from the Lord.
  2. Proverbs 19:14 Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.

With that knowledge, who are we kidding thinking that we could find a wife without Gods plan? Now I’m not saying that there should be no emotions in a relationship, that’s where people seem to think I’m crazy. What I’m saying is that emotions should not lead the relationship. Feelings come and go but love is always here to stay. A relationship should be led by the Spirit of God, and not by our own preconceived ideas that were indoctrinated into our thoughts by Hollywood.

 

Dating VS Courting

Dating has only been around for roughly 350 years when Jean Jacques Rosseau wrote a book called Julie in 1761. The book was about a high-class woman who fell in love with a waiter. At that time, courtship existed. People found partners who matched their status, class or occupation. However, after the release of Julie which was a successful bestseller, people married for feelings. This is the danger of dating and many Christians out there are dating with no idea what they are doing. The difference is very outstanding. Dating is based on feelings, courtship is based on the final destination – marriage. Dating seeks where our feelings may lead us, they follow the emotions and this is why sex before marriage occurs. This is why teen pregnancies happen, we aren’t teaching our children the truth about love. I’ve noticed by observation that pregnancies that happen before marriage mostly places a responsibility on the man to marry the woman, even though it’s a huge disgrace in many cultures. The problem here is that they marry out of duty and not out of love, and eventually divorce occurs later. I’m not saying that your marriage is over if you sinned, I’m saying that you better place Christ in the centre of your relationship because if you sinned by fornication, He wasn’t there in the first place.

Courtship knows the direction, it knows the final destination is marriage. If Christ is in the relationship, it will succeed. I believe that parents should be involved in the relationship, advice should be directed to spiritual elders who give good godly advice. I believe in love the way it used to be back in the day when the man would approach a woman and ask her out, and he would approach her parents for permission to take her out. We don’t have that anymore, men have become wimps. Now we slide into DMs and text, we don’t have the guts to chase marriage, and those who are brave chase one night stands. Now a man will date a woman, and when he thinks she’s the one, he will propose and then finally meet the parents, who disapprove of the man. And that’s how families are torn apart. families lose their daughters to another man, accused of betrayal and intolerance.

 

 

Toxic Relationships

The amount of stories I have heard of is unbelievable. I’ve heard people recall the toxic traits of what guys do to girls and vice versa. We know that people these days aren’t taught how to love or maybe there’s an issue in their past that they never deal with. Whatever it may be, the spread of pain is seeping faster than you think.

 

 

 

Here are some toxic traits you need to know about:

  1. Physical abuse
  2. Swearing or calling you names
  3. Threats or death threats
  4. Emotional abuse
  5. Financial tightfisted control
  6. Social control, keeping you away from friends and family
  7. Has a problem with you talking to other individuals of the opposite gender
  8. Frequent lies
  9. Purposely saying or doing things that hurt you
  10. Bringing up the past
  11. Blaming you for their crimes and abuse
  12. Using your own weakness or confided secrets against you
  13. Reputation destruction, spreading bad information about you.
  14. Treats you like an enemy and then make themselves be the victim
  15. Isolates you, make you burn bridges and break all connections. When this happens, you become totally dependant on them and in time of trouble, you have no one to turn to.
  16. Rape
  17. Anger tempest over small things
  18. Searching your phone but not allowed to search theirs.
  19. Forced PDA
  20. If you live in constant fear because of your partner, you are being abused. It is time to LEAVE!

We live in a world where being alone is defined as a curse, but it’s not. The only thing worse than ending up alone is getting married and feeling the same way. Not many love deeply, some just want to feel good or feel secure. Others have a void to fill instead of an overflow of love to give. The intentions of relationships and marriage are what makes it or breaks it. The love of many has grown cold, so make sure you fast and pray before you ask her out, make sure you receive confirmation from God before you say yes to him. It is unfortunate that when most marriages fail, so do their faith. I’ve heard many stories of people who turned away from God because their partner cheated on them or divorced them. It is really sad but Christ must be in the relationship and Christ must have said the last word before it first began. I’m an advocate for love, I’m not against it. However, I have done everything to fight against all that goes against it. If you have found love, keep nurturing it, never take it for granted. Keep studying your wife, keep loving her. And wives, submit to your husband and respect him.

If you have not found love, keep searching for it on your knees, never give up on the search. keep believing that there is someone out there who God has designed especially for you. We know for sure that there are more females than men on the planet, we can then assume that every man may be married but not every woman. That’s the sad truth. So chase your purpose and you’d find the right partner. Your purpose comes first before anything else…

So what would be the endless possibilities of love? A man’s life changes so suddenly when he meets the One. His heart changes so do his priorities. He learns things that he never knew before, does things he never thought he’d ever do. His mind bends and warps in the mould of his expectations. Expectations of how he wants his life to be with her. His future is planned already in his blissful thoughts, and even though he never know what tomorrow brings, he looks forward to a time that he hopes to exist one day.  And she? Does not her Prince Charming present himself in the flesh? Does he not come to rescue her to another place? Does not the fairytales of books come to life when two come together in the harmony of romantic love? Oh, the possibilities of love that one could imagine…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Beyond the Pandemic

It’s more than a year since the pandemic began in Wuhan, China. Lockdowns were put in place to restrict the movement of people in order to stop the spread. Covid19, a virus that began in 2019, or did it? According to the NIA Intelligence, the Coronavirus hit asian countries in 2003. The CDC decided to patent it.

What we are experiencing is bioterrorism, an attack on people’s health, livelihoods, careers, finances and peace of mind. This isn’t something that happened by accident, it is a planned agenda. A virus is manmade. Currently, the death toll is more than 1.8million. Is there a cure? As there seems to be a push towards vaccines, no cure seems to be stated by the CDC, WHO or SAPHRA. Donald Trump stated that HCQ was the cure that it helps Covid patients to recover, despite many resistance from the health department. In South Africa, Ivermectin was said to be a cost effective drug that not only prevents Covid19 but also cures the disease. However, SAPHRA did not evaluate the drug and has made any import of such illegal. It is said that Ivermectin cured within 48 hours. HCQ and Ivermectin are drugs that have been used for years with no side effects.

One of the main precautions one can take is the use of Vitamin C, Vitamin D and Zinc to boost the immune system. Strangely, SAPHRA hasn’t evaluated the medication either, neither do they suggest it as a cure for any disease. What we need is a healthy diet, a strong immune system and regular exercise. If we continue the way we live, eating junk food and living without proper exercise, we become susceptible to the disease. Vitamin D can be attained from receiving some sunshine for at least 15 minutes a day.

 

Now, the vaccines is not for your best interest. Besides the fact that it is made with MRC5, fetal tissue from an aborted baby in 1962, they had been growing the cells for the manufacture of vaccines. WI38 had been used to create many other types of vaccines. Remember, vaccines doesn’t cure you. The latest Covid19 vaccines contain DNA that will tamper with your genetics. This will result in your own DNA being changed. But it’s difficult to get into it, isn’t it? Last year, there was a break through in science, Emmanuelle Charpentier and Jennifer Doudna won the Nobel Peace Prize 2020 in chemistry for unzipping DNA with the use of gold nanoparticles.

In this way, they can unzip your DNA and send instructions into it, redefining your genetics. For example, if you have a child with autism, you can alter the DNA and the child can grow up normally without any effects of autism. We can agree that Emmanuelle and Jennifer have made a breakthrough in science that can help change the lives of many in a positive way. But just like Ernest Ritherford who discovered the splitting of an atom in 1917, (Einstein discovered the splitting of the uranium atom several years later) which could be used for a source of energy, this was used at Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

This is an extract from the nobelprize.org:

Emmanuelle Charpentier and Jennifer Doudna are awarded the Nobel Prize in Chemistry 2020 for discovering one of gene technology’s sharpest tools: the CRISPR/Cas9 genetic scissors. Researchers can use these to change the DNA of animals, plants and microorganisms with extremely high precision. This technology has revolutionised the molecular life sciences, brought new opportunities for plant breeding, is contributing to innovative cancer therapies and may make the dream of curing inherited diseases come true.”

CRISPR can also erase memories and add new ones. Ethically, is this allowed? Suppose a murderer bent on killing people based on revenge, it may seem helpful but if used for something evil? Is not memories a part of your soul and subconscious mind?

Remember, the vaccines are affiliated with Bill gates who has an interest in depopulation. In 2015, he spoke about preparing for an outbreak of a deadly virus or bioterrorism. Even though Dr Oz recently took the vaccine, a large number of doctors are warning others not to take it. In fact, many of them are refusing to take it. In Australia, those who took the vaccine received false positives for HIV. Besides the fact that all this is about money, these are the reasons why you should not take the vaccines:

So why would they do all this? It is to push through the New World Order.

Which will be a cashless society.

There are videos about 5G being installed during lockdown. It’s integrity is up to you.

In the New World Order, they want to mark everyone who takes the vaccine. They can insert nanocrystals on your hand to indicate that you were vaccinated. They’ve taken an enzyme from fireflies called Luciferase that can light up on your skin and show you that you have taken the jab.

Wearing a mask doesn’t help. The only reason why we wear it so that you can go to work, buy groceries and not end up in jail. Wearing a mask and going out there thinking it works is like being a sitting duck.

Be careful when you are going for a Covid test. All they need is a swab of saliva, nothing more. A woman who was getting the test done had a nurse who inserted the swab too far in, resulting in leakage of brain fluid. This occurred because the the swab penetrated the blood brain barrier, making her susceptible to other diseases. Let’s not forget that some tests in America that were sent back as positive even though the patient wasn’t. A nurse sent ten blank test kits and it came back positive. Not all deaths are Covid19, many are placed under the virus to hype hysteria. People are being paid for this. We don’t now who but there is a great corruption coming out of all of this, which is enough proof that even in the trying of times, people will take advantage of the situation, even if it means that it leads to your demise.

So what can I say in conclusion? America is protesting to stop the reset but whether they prolong the inevitable or not, we must be prepared for the coming of Christ which is imminent. The days are evil and time is short. Now is the time to repent and surrender your life to Christ and live for Him. You can look up the links above and do your own research, you don’t have to believe everything written here. You have your own choice. The world as we know it is crumbling before us, because it was never made to exist forever…

 

Cupcake Christianity

First of all, what you are about to read is extremely opinionated and is not fact. I’m writing what I feel. It’s not really up for debate, but you can comment whether you disagree or not.

If we compare today’s Christianity with the time it began, we cannot ignore the vast difference in theology and way of lifestyle. It is unavoidable. Our theology is not only watered down, but so is our faith. We don’t believe as much as the apostles, neither do we act as much them. I feel we don’t hold onto the truth with a tight grip and we just accept the Bible as true, but beyond that, nothing is done. Our hearts are moved by sermons and worship sessions but not enough to form a godly habit in our daily lives. We just compliment the preacher for his sermon and go back to the way we were living. People come to church but never change, they leave the way they come in. Repentance is hardly preached, leave alone the very transformation of hearts. Faith without action is dead, James 2:17. And if your religion is based on faith, then your religion is dead.

In Acts 20:7-12, we find Eutychus falling to his death from a three-story window. Paul didn’t say that it was Gods will for the young man to die that day. Instead, Paul looked beyond the circumstances, He knew Someone who conquered death. Eutychus was raised to life, the very law of nature was broken because another Kingdom was being set up within those who believed. At the end of the day, one question will parade your mind: ‘Do you really believe in God?’

Now, I’m not here to make you doubt your salvation. We know that we are saved by grace alone, through faith alone in Christ alone. Works have nothing to do with it.

 

Think about it, we live in a crippled mindset when we have the ability to soar. 

 

We pray for healing as if it’s never going to happen. There is never healing, only successful surgeries or medication. We have relied upon other resources and called it faith. There were no advanced doctors in 30A.D., so Jesus was their only option. Today, God is an option, most of the time, the last resort that we probably never get to. We no longer pray to God to provide for us, rather we ask Him to make that loan approval happen. We give towards a church hoping to receive more instead of giving because you have received. We pray for promotions that will take away more time from God and your family. Gods Grace is so powerful to wash away your repetitive sins but can’t give you the power to overcome them? We are determined to receive His promises but have not done anything about His commands and instructions.  We justify our addictive pleasures that its all grace and mercy but have never sought His will. Isn’t that what we need to do?

Romans 12:2 

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will.

 

Matthew 7:21

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.

 

 

God’s will is so important that we need to spend time with God to find out what it is. This can only happen when we are intimate with Him. We need to stop saying that ‘it was Gods will’ to everything that happens. Sin was never in Gods will, neither was tragedy or heartbreak but He makes all things work for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose, Romans 8:28. 

We need to realise that we are seated in heavenly places, Ephesians 2:6. The enemy cannot touch us, 1 John 5:18.

So how does the story end? Maybe the way Jesus said it would: “However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?” Luke 18:8.

Are we going to let the way of the world have its way? Or are we going to break the system that captivates our true potential? I’m not saying that if you see a doctor, you have no faith. Luke was a doctor, I am on chronic medication myself. Paul had a thorn in his flesh, a sickness regarding his eyes. We have our obstacles and troubles, but we can’t let it stop us from our calling! Is depression destroying your mind? Is your addiction feeding you guilt? Is fear suppressing your passion? It’s time to break free! We are called for so much more than all of this. Christ has called us to an abundant life, and I’m not talking about prosperity and money here. That’s the least of the things one needs to satisfy the soul. We need to live by the Spirit and not by the flesh, live in the light and not in the dark. Live in freedom and not in fear and condemnation.

The prophecies of scripture are being fulfilled before our very eyes. Very soon, the faith of every Christian will be tested. We will not be here in the tribulation, but we will have to stand for our faith before the rapture. Will you be bold for Jesus? Or will you succumb to Cupcake Christianity?

 

 

Identity

Roughly two years ago, I wrote a blog called IDENTITY CRISIS. A short message explaining why most Christians are no living like Christ. However, recently, I have come across a profound epiphany of identity. By definition,

Identity

/ʌɪˈdɛntɪti/

noun

  1. 1.

the fact of being who or what a person or thing is.

 

The identity is a part of every person, which is inevitably unavoidable. Everyone must have an identity. The problem with our struggle with identity is that it is always attached to something. We secure who we are with our race, our status, our history, and even our heritage. Some people discover their identity by their marriage, or career or even their assets. We allow these factors to define who we are. But the amount of money you have cannot determine your identity, because of course, if you had to lose every cent, you will not behave in the same way. You will not do what you always do. You will be someone else. When a man loses his job, he can become someone else—his identity changes.

 

Some people identify themselves by the way they dress or look, bowing down to the god of vanity. Most people go through many identities through their lives because they were defined by their circumstances. At the end of their lives, they are not sure who they are, so they become defined by their history.

Look at the people below and tell me if you don’t associate them by identity by the way they look, the way they dress and where they are…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Maybe when we look at people, we should go beyond the way they look or dress. We should seek to help the soul without being distracted by the outer earthen vessel. God loves everyone, irrespective of their journey. We should love others as well in the same manner, showing them Christ.

 

You cannot allow your identity to be defined by temporal things…

 

Why do we attach our identity by things that will soon pass away? To have a consistent identity, we must keep our eyes on the One who made us. We must be defined by our Creator, we are who He says we are.

 

2 Corinthians 4:6-7

Because the God who said, Out of the darkness, light shall shine, is the One who shined in our hearts to illuminate the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. But we have this treasure in earthen vessels that the excellency of the power may be of God and not out of us.”

 

Colossians 1:27

“Christ in you, the hope of glory.”

 

Colossians 3:4

When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

 

If Christ is our life, why should we worry? Why should we fear? Why should we be anxious? If God in His awesome might and sovereignty, has the world He designed in the palm of His hands, will He not take care of you?

 

What you worship becomes part of your identity…

 

Don’t let people attach an identity to you. They will judge you by your past, or your financial status. But as a child of God, you are not defined by what happened in the past because you are a new creation. You are not defined by how much money you have in the bank because God is your provider. Our mortal bodies will soon fade away, and so will everything we have and worked for. Only what is done for Christ will last. We will soon be translated into immortality, a state of perfection that will be for all eternity. Therefore, our identity cannot be here, but there in heaven.

Here are some Biblical examples:

  • The Pharisees tried to tag an identity on Jesus by their interpretation of scripture. They were totally wrong!
  • Peter denied Jesus three times, unsure of who he was in the darkest hour on earth. But when the Spirit of God fell upon him in Acts 2, he declared; “we are all witnesses.”
  • Judas was so overcome by his own betrayal that his identity was seen as something that was never going to change.
  • Paul had his ideal identity of Jewish heritage until he met Christ.
  • Joseph refused to have his current circumstances influence his identity, no matter where he was. The God of heaven was his identity.
  • David refused to let his inexperience to fight in battle stop God from using him to defeat Goliath.
  • Timothy was told not to use his age to define his ability to complete Gods purposes.

When you are filled with the Holy Spirit, your identity is more tangible. You know who you belong to and why – God gave His Son in demonstration of His great love. We are in Him, and He is in us. Branches in the vine bearing fruit. When we come to the realisation of who we are, we can live a Holy and powerful life for Christ. We won’t be held down by worry, fear, stress, anxious, lust and other distractions that weigh us down.

So, if you want to change your life around, know who you are in Christ. Going to another church or searching for another pastor isn’t going to help you. You need to have a personal relationship with Christ Jesus…

 

Book Review #4: Away From Yesterday

After a successful launch of her debut book, A Shepherd King, Chanelle Fairlene Pillay has published her first Christian fictionAway from Yesterday.

 

Sometimes moving forward means going back…Riddled with guilt and having turned his back on his faith, family, and the love of his life, Tyler Hill promised himself that he would never return to his hometown- where the memory of that one foolish night from twelve years ago changed the course of the lives of everyone he loved. When his grandfather passes away, Tyler has no choice but to go back home – forcing him to come face to face with the unfulfilled promises, shattered dreams, and a love he once left behind. In this emotional story of tragedy, longing, and family, could a few days back home be enough to remind Tyler that somewhere on the road between condemnation and God’s grace, he has not been forgotten? 

 

Packed with hardcore scripture and intrinsic life lessons, this novel promises page-turning drama in every chapter, ending with suspense that makes the reader desperate for the next. The thought-provocative dialogues and heart-wrenching emotions within the lines set hope in the reader’s heart that the book will never end yet eager to reach its completion. Away from Yesterday is Christian fiction at its best with the Gospel message entwined within its pages. The evidence of divine inspiration weaves through the story, edifying the reader right through the chapters. I recommend this book to all Christian readers. It is bound to inspire.

Chanelle Fairlene Pillay is a South African author and attorney who attends The Supernatural Church. She writes to inspire, edify, and encourage the church. Her books aim to glorify God. You can find her on:

Facebook – Chanelle Fairlene Pillay

Instagram – chanelle.fairlene